Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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