I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
