youre lurking in front of me
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
