Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
