Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
