I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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