soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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