I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
