lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Randomize
