Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
