I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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