It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
