You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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