false alarm. still invincible.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
