Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
