come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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