she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
