Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
