Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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