I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
