Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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