eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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