I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
