I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Bring me that man meat
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
