You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
