hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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