dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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