Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
