Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
