ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
