after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
