im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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