Me too!
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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