i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize