It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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