we're blogging at a bar
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
No subtext here. People are naked.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
