You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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