cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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