So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
