Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.

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(303): View more from Colorado

once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.

(303): View more from Colorado

oh and he was serious.

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(937): View more from Ohio

Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?

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(360): View more from Washington

We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched

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(914): View more from New York

I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup

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(307): View more from Wyoming

You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.

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