the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
