I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
