Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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