i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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