i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
