Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
