Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
