Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
