let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
