should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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