Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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