So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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