at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
