He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I just want nice things and good sex
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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