And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
