like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
