I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I believe in your delicious
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
