ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
