I can text with my tongue
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
